Wednesday, July 05, 2017

Wow, 3 weeks. Oops

Tonight I want to be petty, but I'm resisting.  I might yet, but for now, my better self is winning, and that's always the better choice.

Because I know I'll lose the story on Facebook (I lose everything on Facebook, until I find it again, and then it's a wonderful surprise!) I'm posting this here.  Before it's gone.

If this was your reinforced strapping that was hidden in the long grass up by the road, I apologize. My tractor ate it. But good news! When I took the mower deck off to unwind it from the mandrel, I discovered a nest of baby squirrels! On the mower deck! (bad choice, mama squirrel). Moved them with all their bedding under a tree, and when I went back to take another peek, mama had already relocated them. So no pic of cute squirrel babies. This will have to suffice.



So here's the story.  I'd been feeling judgey about the new neighbors.  I don't like being that way, but I'm owning it.  They leave their trash cans up by the road for days.  They let Joe's beautiful garden go to weeds.  They cut their grass about once every two weeks.  Their dog killed one of Ashley and Jeff's lovely chickens (named after the Golden Girls ferpetesake!) and then last week, dog also bit Gerd.  Wow.  Speaking with Jeff a week or so ago, he advised that Christopher (neighbor husband) is still maintaining his NYC audiology practice while Maggie (wife) is here with construction and baby and dog and no one to help... and I felt like a turd.

On Tuesday I was cutting the grass and decided that since I was there anyway, I'd just cut over and do theirs too.  And since I was working a few things out in my head, what the heck, I'll cut their along-the-road part too.  And, wrapped in my mental cud-chewing, I drove off the side of the culvert and got stuck in the ditch.  10 minutes and a 14 year old assistant later, I was back in business, until the mower deck tangled, literally, with a section of strap tie down.  Drive home, pull off the deck, cut away the webbing and prepare to remount the deck.  Muttering the whole time.  Of course.  And then the magic part of this story.  As I was about to slide the deck back under the tractor, I decided to take the opportunity to clear away the accumulated clippings and crud.  Gloves on, 'cause that stuff's nasty, and set to work.  I picked up a handful of grass, and a baby squirrel.  And another, and another.  They were all safely(?!) bedded down in the area through which the belt races.  There were five in all, about an inch and a half from nose to tail, and Oh.My.Goodness.  They were adorable.  All breathing, all well, and all alive.  And if I hadn't found them they'd have all, undoubtedly, been pulled into the belt and killed.

We have to make the choice to do the good thing when we can.  And I'll keep trying not to be petty.


Sunday, June 18, 2017

A Coleus Among the Cosmos

My garden is in. Ish.  The carrots haven't come up, and the beans are sporadic, but I didn't actually buy new seed this year so I'm not surprised.   There was a large blank space at the end of the tomato-pepper-tomatillo bed so I filled it with flowers.  Portulaca, asters, dahlias, lots of pretty cutting flowers.  And one coleus.  Coleus doesn't flower, or if it does, the flower is incidental.  But it's beautiful, regardless! 

I tend to anthropomorphize.   Parking my little Mazda next to another little Mazda makes me a little bit happy; they can talk while I'm gone!  I talk to food, and machines, and sunshine.  And as I tucked that little flowerless coleus in with the flashy Gerbera daisies and salvia, I gave her a little pep talk.  "You are strong and beautiful!  You will grow big and healthy!  The others will bloom and be showy and attract lots of attention, but that doesn't diminish you value AT.ALL.  You are as perfect in your way as they are in theirs." 

My perfect is mine alone.  Everyone's perfect is different, and isn't that just the greatest?

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Further

So now it's time to step up.  Yesterday I spouted some platitudes and pretty words about walking the talk, doing the right thing, making a difference.  knocking down the small injustices to topple the big ones.  This morning, this showed up in my Facebook feed.  gofundme.com

I know this family.  I know that Juan is none of the terrible things the president says he is taking a hard line on.  He is a father, a husband, a farmer.  A taxpayer, a booster, a volunteer.  He is a good man, an honest man, and a LEGAL resident.  His skin is the wrong color, and his path to the US did not involve the Mayflower or, you know, a steamer from Kallstadt.  Toss him over the wall!

For reasons I will not go into here, yet, I do not have money to support his fight.  But I have email, and I have stamps, and I have representatives in Washington and Montpelier, and dammit I will help.  This small injustice is HUGE to the six children that call him dad.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Choose

My boy gets it.  He just gets it.  He gets angry at injustice.  He bristles at blatant lying and the selfish entitled behaviour that seems to predominate the media lately.  That's my boy. 

I got en email on Mother's Day weekend from a teacher at his school.  Not one of HIS teacher's mind you.  It seems my boy routinely holds doors, offers to clean up messes that others have walked away from, pushes in chairs, and is regularly considerate to those who might not even notice, let alone acknowledge it.  The email's intent was to make me aware of his actions, and to thank me for raising such a great kid. 

As much as I'd like to take credit for the great people my babies have become, all I did was give them tools.  They picked them up and built their characters into masterpieces, and I could not be more proud of them.  They are the best projects I've ever started.

I read tonight a Facebook post by my boyfriend Bernie that stated that the 5 wealthiest people (men) on earth own more wealth than the bottom half of the world's population. Combined.  Just one of these 5 men is worth more financially than 750 MILLION people.  More than the population of the entire United States.  Plus Canada.  Mexico.  Central America.  Brazil.  and Peru.  One. Guy.  That's not right.  Daniel asked how we can fight that kind of imbalance and I responded that we can't.  We can't make those 5 men share, they have to come to that place by themselves.  What we can do, though, is reject the easy acceptance of small injustices.  We can stand up to the little bullying and the small slights that we see every day.  Our voices can speak the words of the silenced.  Our actions can build, not tear down.  We can choose to be our better selves.  

Sunday, June 11, 2017

And just like that, it's 3 years later

Reminisce?  Nah.  Let's just jump back in and pretend there was no 1000 day break, hm?  Good.  I did accomplish a little in the last little while.  Couple of quilts, new job(s), graduated a couple of collegians.  Made some delicious meals and some bad decisions.  I'll share details and pics in the next little while.   I'll get to that sidebar too.

Onward.

My word for this year is BUILD, and dammit, I want to.  I'm trying.  Last year was STRENGTH, year before was COURAGE.  Be brave, collect power, then act on it.  Well okay, that's moving in the right direction.

I'm not sure how much detail I intend to get into here, at least not until I figure out if there's a way to set security to prevent some eyes from falling, inadvertently, on some details.  But suffice it to say that I've determined that I should be writing my own story, not leaving that task adventure to others.  So I've begun to build my life, my way, on my terms.  Am I shouting this from the rooftops?  As Mr. Comey would say, Lordy no.  I'm whispering it quietly in my own ear, every chance I get.  It girds up my strength and courage.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

Complete

com·plete
adjective \kəm-ˈplēt\

: having all necessary parts : not lacking anything
: not limited in any way
: not requiring more work : entirely done or completed

Am I incomplete?  Nah, I don't think so, I have all my parts.  But actually there are certainly parts of me that are lacking attention.  Do I feel limited?  Uh, yeah.  I do.  By fear. √  By my unwillingness to make waves.√  By excuses.√  Oh dear.  Am I not in need of work?  Am I entirely done?  Not by a mile!  Am I really bad at almost finishing projects?  Oh my yes.
So.  COMPLETEEvery time I write that my fingers say COMPETE.  And that's not me.  I don't need to be first, or best, or most favoured.  I need to be true to myself, I need to pay attention to the unattended parts of my SELF and figure out what they need.  And then do it.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Happy New Year!

Well, that was fun!  (and by fun, I mean I wished the family a happy new year and went to bed.)

Resolutions... no.  But plans.  Some I can and will discuss here, others not.  Or not yet.  Not sure.  I want to be healthier this year.  I'm not unhealthy, but there's always room for improvement.  I want to spend more time intentionally, not so much letting hours slip away with games on my iPad (Candy Crush I'm looking at you, here.) 

I, again this year, have no nieces or nephews turning 16, so no push for a Christmas quilt, but I want to spend more time with a needle.  Quilting, knitting, maybe embroidery.  I, ahem, was made an offer I couldn't refuse a few weeks ago.  Since I couldn't, I didn't.  And this now lives at my house.  Oh my.  It sings when you turn it on.  So do I!  That's almost a foot  of space between the needle and the touchscreen.  A FOOT!  So there will be quilting, oh my yes.

I don't do the formal resolution thing anymore, really.  For the past almost 10 years I have instead followed the wisdom of Christine Kane and chosen a word, a touchstone, a guide for BEing.  I'll share tomorrow.  It took a while to arrive, but when it did, this word settled in (mostly) comfortably.  It will require a change of habit, and a change of mindset, but I believe it points me in a direction I want need to go.