Friday, November 18, 2005

The invisible 2x4 to the back of the head

I was supposed to have coffee with a friend this morning, but she didn't show. No problem, my favourite 2 year old and I had breakfast instead. I got home to find a message on my machine, K apologizing for standing me up. It seems she'd taken the time to check her email this morning and read a message that sent her reeling. I called, thinking maybe a distant friend was ill, or one of her children was in trouble. Nothing like that, K had been the recipient of an out-of-the-blue whack to the head from someone she thought was a friend. Ahhh, been there.

I've opened that email. I've heard that phone message. I've read that letter. I'm ashamed to say I've also sent that email, recorded that message, and written that letter. And regretted it every single time. There's something about... not anonymity... about facelessness that gives us the confidence to say things we would NEVER say to someone in person. It's unfortunate and cowardly. Having had it happen to me, several times, I've made a very serious effort to stop doing it myself. If I won't say it to your face, I'm going to try my best not to say it at all.

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