Remember a few weeks ago, my post about Christine Kane and the 35 Days Challenge? I'm still (daily) on Day one, but I'm still trying, too.
Yesterday, this appeared on my Bloglines feed. She's a pretty wise woman, that Christine Kane. She suggests that the reason so many of us fail in our resolutions is that we go at them from the wrong perspective. "The reason most resolutions don’t work is that they address only one level of your life. The DO level. It’s the DO-HAVE-BE model. “I will DO this thing.” (i.e., Lose weight) “So I can HAVE this other thing” (Self-Esteem) and I can BE this thing. (Confident.)" What we need to do is work at the "BE" part - what is it we really want. The rest should either fall into place as a part of that goal, or drop off as not-so important.
She also provides a list of suggested touchstone words - a word that speaks to you and the goal you are after. Carry that word with you and use its strength when you lose sight of your goal. It works! A couple of years ago I was in a less than sunshiney place emotionally, feeling sorry for myself about a whole lot of crap ('scuse my french) that had been dumped on me over the previous few years. Sure there were bright spots, but they were dimmed by all the clouds I insisted on carrying with me. I realized one day the "I am important." To someone, somewhere, I was important. When I found myself doing stupid self-destructive things, I just reminded myself that "I am important." I slowed down, I wore my seatbelt, I got more sleep and made better choices.
Of course I want to lose weight, but it's the DO part of the model. What I'm after is to be comfortable, again, with myself in this body, in this life, doing the things I do. Losing weight is just part of it. That 35 Days thing is part of it too, truth be told. Sometimes it feels easier to just throw up my hands and give in - to eat that doughnut I picked up for Daniel before he even knows about it. To pass on some juicy gossip just because it's just too hard to keep it to myself. To just keep doing what I'm doing because it's easier on autopilot.
My word for 2008 is AWARENESS. eep.
3 comments:
Came across your blog this morning.
I love you resolution analogy! Going to keep this one in my thoughts. Our body IS a temple! Thank you for the insight!
Susan
I like this approach to the NYs resolutions because it's so sensible.
I've never known even one person who's kept weight off after making a NYs resolution about it (I'm sure they exist, I just don't know them).
Every January, all the quilt boards I visit have a "Let's lose weight for sure this year!!!!" thread. The same people join up year after year. I find this depressing enough to avoid those boards from now until mid-February when everyone's given up.
I just want to BE happy and healthy. I wish that for everybody else, too.
Great post, Dorothy. Got me thinking. :)
Awareness...good word. I used to use that word alot with all of us "Be aware of your surroundings". Surroundings included everyone and every thing.
Good word.
BTW...I agree with zazzu...talk is cheap with it comes to losing weight.
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