I can't post any pictures with this post because I don't want to be accused of picking on anyone. I just have a question. When did "If you can't say something nice don't say anything" become "If you can't say something nice, lie." I have seen a number pictures posted online in the past week, watched more than a few adults in the halls at school, walked past conversations at the mall. In so many cases, WAY TOO MANY in my opinion, someone will compliment another on their hair, their clothes, their *whatever* then, when the object of their praise is out of earshot completely change their tune.
Why?
I will admit here that I have done this, though not often, and I'm not proud of that fact. And I do NOT do it to people I consider friends. There is always something, something praiseworthy in even the least flattering outfit or the most poorly presented idea, and that's what I look for. Offering sincere compliments gives people something real to build on. I'm not going to tell my size 16 friend squeezed into a size 12 lace dress that it looks gorgeous on her, but I will say that black makes her skin glow and her hair sparkle.
Or maybe I should stop going to PTO meetings with an allergy headache and an empty stomach.
5 comments:
I agree with your thoughts here. We don't need to lie to say something nice - there is always something positive to say without saying something you really do not mean. Sometimes I feel that I am still in high school the way some parents act. Like you, I try to look for the positives in others.
I'm with you...
I guess we got better home training...
I'm sorry to say I gave up joining after a while and volunteered for things with smaller groups or as an individual.I once stencilled the walls of the pre-school by myself as a gift to the school.
I find this snarky attitude is, sadly, too common. It seems to be acceptable by many and passes as humor nearly everywhere. I think somewhere along the way dry wit got confused with nasty sarcasm. I've sen a lot of it in the young women in our village...scary. They have a real pack mentality. The meanest one is the leader and boy is she mean! But then she's got a $150. handbag and a charge card and anyone that doesn't is lower than worm poop. I'd be afraid to be a kid in school today.
It's not even the snark I question. It's the people who fall all over themselves to offer an insincere compliment. Like my friend in the too small dress - I couldn't believe that people told her how lovely she looked, when the fact is, she'd have looked far better in a bigger size. Encouragement is a great, powerful thing, but why encourage bad choices?
Well said.
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