Blather

I think I need to quit my job.  I don't want to, but I do.  And I think I will.

3 weeks ago, the cafe I created was bought by someone who does not live in our community.  She does not know us, or what niche this little coffee shop fills.  She wants to change it, and she should.  It was mine (more or less) and now it's hers.  I wish her every success, I really do, but there is nothing in her vision that makes this cafe anything different enough from everything else around here that hers will stand out, will be a destination, or a welcoming landing spot.  She wants to sell tuna melt and chicken sliders, and giant meat loaded just like everyone else sandwiches.  Great!  More power to her - I hope she is wildly successful and the cafe becomes everything she hopes it can be.  But it's not going to happen with me.  My coworker, the girl I hired, is socially awkward.  She is blunt, she can be disrespectful, she is VERY odd.  My new employer is overly sensitive, passive aggressive, and in this to make money.  They do not get along well, and I had to speak with both of them, or coworker was going to find herself without a job.  She NEEDS a job.

And I need a job.  I need the reliable(ish) income to help pay some incredible debts that were racked up in my name, on my tab, without my permission, without my knowledge.  Marriage is a contract, and I'm stuck in a bad one.  Contract.  And marriage, actually.  I am unhappy, and I have a plan.

I am unhappy at the cafe.  I dread going to work, I live for the weekends when I'm not there.   I can find another income in another place - I have no doubt.  And if I have to let go of the school meals program, I'll do that too, regretfully.

I think my issue is that I want to give everything I do 100% of my enthusiasm, 100% buy in.  I have that with the Afterschool meals.  I do not have that with the cafe.

So.  I need to find a new job, I need to quit this one, I need to be prepared to step away from the meals program.  And I need to set THIS plan into motion.  So I think I need to quit my job.