‘My life is my message.’ - Gandhi
And my message, it seems, is not about COMITY. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I tried, I really did, but this word, this year, kicked my ass. repeatedly.
Comity in my interpretation (and attempted implementation) meant something like "acceptance without compromise." There were, are, people and situations in my life whose actions, whose existence I needed to accept, without compromising who and what I felt about myself. I couldn't do it.
I used this word as a touchstone as I have in previous years with other words, and I tried to draw the focus and guidance from it that I have found in the past. It wasn't there. Maybe it wasn't the right word. Maybe the change I was looking for was in others' behaviour rather than my reaction to it. When their actions didn't change, accepting it became harder. Things that had nothing to do with me-me-me felt like personal attacks. When my road to comity didn't take me where I wanted to go, I became discouraged, and then resentful.
I struggled to find this word last December. It didn't come easily, but when it did, it felt right. I think it wasn't. So now the search is on for my word for 2010. I'll spend a few days thinking about what I want to build, then look for the all-in-one super awesome tool to help me do it.
here, here, here